For a woman to build a successful marriage, she must give
the husband all the respect she can muster. A man can perform better as a
leader when he is assured of his wife’s respect. God has given every woman the
power to turn their husband to be the kind of person she and God wants him to
be – that power, is the power of respect. If you employ the power of respect in
your relationship with your husband, you tend to bring out the best in him and
make him a God fearing husband. When a woman concentrates only on the weak side
of the husband, that is what she will be seeing in him, the bad side, but if
she tries to balance the two sides she will be amazed that the qualities of her
husband far exceed what she has ever known. Nothing will be too hard for a man
to achieve if she have the respect, support and admiration of the wife.
A woman should be wise in money handling, inability of a
woman to handle money always brings quarrel between husband and wife. It
pleases a man so much if he knows that the wife is capable of handling the
family’s finance. This is what the book of proverbs says concerning a prudent
woman: ‘Her husband can trust her, and
she will richly satisfy his needs…. She goes out to inspect a field, and buys
it; with her own hands she plants a vine yard…. She makes belted linen garments
to sell to the merchants’ (proverbs 31:11, 16 & 24. TLB).
When a home is facing financial crisis, the woman attitude
towards the problem and her husband’s efforts to find solutions can make or
break him. Men always feel as failures if they are not meeting up with the
financial needs of their family and some who are not getting support from their
wife may turn to alcohol or to other women, if you scold or nag your husband
because of the challenges he might be experiencing in bringing in money for the
family, you might push him over the edge in physical or even mental sickness. A
woman can greatly assist in times of financial difficulties, by curtailing her
desire for expensive materials and support her family financial needs.
Ask God to show you the areas you have assumed leadership
role in the family and gradually and lovingly relinquish that position to your
husband. Some women deliberately usurp leadership role from their husband, just
to prove they can do it better than their husband. This shouldn’t be so, these
type of women should realize that some people have different ways of dealing with
issues and get results, that your husband is not handling things the exact way
you wants does not make him weak. Just give him a benefit of doubt, if you
still feel he is not handling the matter rightly, just put it to him in a
loving way without making him feel weak and irresponsible and you might be
surprised that he has a superb way of handling that same issue you think he is
neglecting.
You can start this by always referring the children to their
father when they need an advice or major decision. This will challenge him and
make him sit up to his responsibilities. Don’t always assume that your husband
is weak in taking decisions. Try to encourage your husband in his leadership
role by being a good follower. Tell him how much you love him taking charge of
things. It may not be easy at first but as you ease yourself out of the
leadership position gradually, making sure you compliment your husband each
time he discharges his responsibility, sooner than later he will become
enthusiastic about being the head of the house.
Your joy doesn’t depend on circumstances or whether or not
your husband sees the importance of being a spiritual leader- it depends on
your fellowship and obedience to God.
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